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The Lighter Side of Life Spring 2018


Things that tell the truth –
Small Children

I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing.
He replied that he is working on “Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment”.
I was impressed...
On further inquiring, I learned that he was washing up under his wife’s supervision .

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and feel glad that you are alive?
I just did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again ...

Apparently every family has one odd-ball relative.
If you do not know who it is, then it’s probably you.

The problem with fractions is that, unlike decimals, they’re pointless.

James: What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Leon: I don’t know and I don’t care

Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory?
All he did was take a day off!

How do you get a sweet old lady to swear?
Get another sweet old lady to shout “BINGO”.

Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking me to find your X.
She’s never coming back and don’t ask Y.

Police Officer: “Anything you say can be used against you.”
Offender: “I know I am married.”

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it

What can we learn from cows, elephants and buffaloes?
You cannot lose weight by eating greens and walking.

A newcomer asked Tim in the King’s Arms, “Have you lived here all your life?”
Tim took a sip of ale and, after a long pause, replied “Don’t know yet!”